Quality Time
Posted on: October 17, 2012. Comments ( 8 )

Author: Chitra Aravind, Parent from Chettinad Vidyashram, Chennai
Consultant Psychologist - (RCI Certified)

What are the expectations of the parents from their children?? (1) Study well,   (2) earn more money   (3) get good respect and name from others   (4) be happy and a healthy individual. Whatever the expectation may be …the child’s only expectation is to have loving, caring and most importantly understanding parents. All they want is your quality time..but what is that quality time ?!? have you ever noticed children troubling/pestering their parents to be always near them, for no reason which irritates the parents especially when they have lot of chores to do?! Parents should think back and answer to this question again..?? the answer is you would not have spent enough time for your kids..the so called “quality time”…

As a parent, we need not be 24/7 by the side of our children to pour love and affection. They just have to be reassured that they are taken care of and understood. After this assurance they will never disturb you. But how to get this assurance??

As soon as your child returns from school, make it a habit to sit and listen to your child atleast for 20 minutes. Show him/her that you are listening to them by showing genuine interest in them..Whatever busy work you are doing, get rid of it as soon as your kid rushes back home. Do not be rude to him. Just show kindness and kindness only. Make this as a habit. After the quality time spent, you can make them understand that you have some work to do and continue with your chores. They can definitely understand your position when you communicate properly. You can assure him, that you are available whenever the needs you. You can be sure from then on, your child will never trouble you for your attention and behave cranky.

On the other hand, if you leave the child unattended after he returns home in order to finish that urgent work… this will only land you in trouble of spending next 2-3 hours convincing him or resolving some emotional issues.. eventually upsetting yourself. If this system continues everyday, the child may try to catch your attention for quite some time..but after some years, the child will resent you and grow to be a person who keeps secrets to himself…Its always better to be the first person to listen to your child’s problems and offer him guidance. Show your child that you understand him and you are always approachable.

One other time, your child expects you is bed time..where you can talk to him about the goodness and bad things about the day and guide him properly to shape up his cognition (attitude) towards developing positive outlook towards life. All this goes a long way in making your child mentally healthy and sound. In addition with that, you can make it a habit to involve your kids in some activity along with your spouse like cooking, cleaning etc.

So, parents hope you are ready to witness the wonders of spending that Quality time with your kids.

……by Chitra Aravind, Consultant Psychologist – (RCI Certified), Parent from Chettinad Vidyashram, Chennai.


Other articles from Chitra Aravind:

1. How to teach discipline to your child?
2. Teen Internet Addiction – Part 1


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Comments (8)

 

  1.  
    Vidyalakshmi says:

    Hi Mam,
    This article is an eye opener. After reading your article I understand the mistake which I do. I get angry easily when my daughter does not obey. It happens quite often nowadays. Each day I used to discuss with her. But she is not freely opening her mouth to me. I don’t understand what is lingering in her mind, which makes me down. She is more distracted and becomes cranky easily. Most of the time I sit with her in the evening. Kindly give your valuable suggestion for tuning my kid.
    Many Thanks,
    Vidya

  2.  
    Paramita Sawant says:

    This article is an eye opener. Sometimes, we parents dont even realise that we are ignoring them…..thanks for bringing this wonderful fact into picture.

  3.  
    Devaraju says:

    As a parent, this is very much important rather than simply expecting from the child.

    one should loose something to get something in life.we can’t get evry thing expected at a time.

    Thank you very much writer.

  4.  
    Lalit Mirchandani says:

    GREAT ARTICLE – i do not follow the above views but would like to do so .

    In MUMBAI we spend Two – Three hours commuting , I have started communicating with my Sons, two of seven years of age and one of ten over the mobile while I drive . So when I reach home at 8 – 8.30 dinner is on the table .

    DURING DINNER TIME NO TV .

    By 10.00 we need to get into bed as the ten year old catches the bus at 6.20 morning .

    I miss being at home to greet them when they come . Might be only after I retire .

  5.  
    Sumathi says:

    a very good message to all the parents.We parents must spend their time with their children so we can come to understand more about them

  6.  
    Raghavan says:

    Adding to what has been said, my view point is, instead of browsing through the channels on the TV, everyday one to two hours should be TV off time, where we can really interact with the children without any diversions. This has been proving fruitful in my case and the idiot box is slowly being ostracized.Try this and share your experience and I am sure you will pleasantly surprised.

  7.  
    Geethanjali says:

    Such an amazing article. As parents we witness this situation almost every day at home. We are bogged down with the work load at office and when we reach home, our minds immediately switch to complete the chores and retire to bed with a book to relax ourselves. We think that children will feel relaxed with a tv program or when they play with their friends. But their utimate happiness lies in sharing their special moments of the day with the parents. Though we understand this, we fail to practice. After reading this article I have decided to dedicate that time only for my son, what come may.


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