How can I handle my adolescent child? – Part 1
Posted on: July 27, 2013. Comments ( 2 )

Author: Mrs. Radhika Mohan, Educational Consultant

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The results are out and the fever of anxiety and apprehension in the young minds and the adult minds, both are on the rise. Fretting and fuming, tension and even frustration are commonalities running in most families. Both parents as well as children are in a state of restless thinking and speculations running riot everywhere.

How has my son/daughter performed in exams? What will be the scores? What kind of a school/college will I get for him/her to be admitted? Will it be an institution of substantial repute? What will be their future prospects? These are the basic thoughts arising in every middle class household parent, especially.

I always thought most of them over reacted. Did they really base their opinions on a realistic assessment of their child’s capabilities? Did they really get to analyse their child’s innate potential? Where the child’s natural intelligence come to light? Would the child find intrinsic motivation in pursuing what I want to him to pursue?

If all these questions were sincerely addressed, there would be total protection to the child’s psyche and personality of the teenager. Very often, parents tend to blame the child alone for his/her lack of performance without actually taking stock of the fact that their attention had been only sporadic, not consistent, thought the child’s scholastic activities. This pondering has been happening in minds of educators like us who feel the issue is creating an immense problem and hence needs discussions on the subject.

The first thing any parent has to think about is whether she/he has chosen the right kind of school for her child. The school is a place where the child is getting moulded for at least 14-15 years of his/her life. The child is found to shape his/her personality, character and values imbibed in the school. The principal and teacher play a major role in influencing child’s attitudes and thinking about the world and its various dimensions. Thus selection of a school is a smart way to ensure your child’s successful future.

“My son is not interested in studies. He likes to do everything else other than his lesson. He only sits dumb if I confront him”. This is a common compliant I hear from parents of adolescent children. Teachers feel that students who were once studious also tend to decline in showing interest towards their lessons. The reason they say is that it could be because adolescents get distracted by the changes they see in and around themselves in the world. They may lose interest in a particular subject or in general lose interest in studies. Some lose interest because of lack of motivation at home or a discouraging teacher in school. Some may be low achievers who cannot cope up with lessons that become difficult for them to understand. Some, a few of them, at least, are talented in other non-scholastic fields but are unable to develop further in that field and finally end up worrying about themselves.

A child who lacks motivation could blame two sources who are cause for it. One is his/her teaching staff and the other his/her parents. In today’s scenario, both these support systems seem to be crumbling down, at a fast pace.

Teachers are impelled to ‘cover’ the syllabus. “Why does ‘uncovering’ of knowledge not happen?”, I wonder. “Where have the social, psychological and philosophical aims of education got buried now?”

Both teaching and learning seem to have become something like an industrial process. Teachers always seem to be dense and anxious, under pressure, only to finish portions, by hook or by crook. Periods allotted in the time table for lighter activities like games/swimming/gardening/music/value classes are used up for teaching lesions. When do children enjoy joyful learning experiences?

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Comments (2)


    Rashid says:

    Very true and really helpful article for all parents!

    M SOUNDAR RAJ says:

    Nice one … really helpful…

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