How can I manage my emotions better?
Posted on: December 14, 2017. Comments ( 11 )

Author: Dr. Chitra Aravind, Parent from Chettinad Vidyashram, Chennai
Consultant Psychologist - (RCI Certified)

Ever felt out of control… saying things and regretting later?

Punished your kid and felt guilty a lot, later?

Lost important relationships/jobs in life due to impulsive anger?

Feel disconnected from your feelings or emotionally numb?

Feel like your life is an emotional rollercoaster—all extremes and no balance?

Human beings are full of feelings or emotions. Emotions are a very important part of our life, as they help us communicate our feeling to others, to influence their behaviour towards us. The major, universal emotions are anger, fear, disgust, happiness, surprise, and sadness. Feeling the warmth, support, acceptance, and care in close friendships, is one of the most exciting aspects of being alive. The more you share your feelings with other people, the happier and more meaningful your life will be.

We all have feelings about the people we interact with, and the experiences we share, but many times we do not communicate feelings effectively. People tend to either communicate feelings in an inappropriate way that gets them into frequent conflicts and lose relationships, or they do not acknowledge other’s feelings or express it at all. Emotions are natural, and they need not be justified, apologized for, or explained. When they are not expressed, it creates relationship problems, increased conflicts, and barriers.

People think that what they are not aware of does not exist and cannot hurt them. This leads to somatic symptoms (such as headache, ulcers) later. People who ignore, dismiss, repress, or just ventilate their emotions, are setting themselves up for physical illness. Emotions that are not felt or released, and kept buried within the body or in one’s aura, can cause serious illnesses including cancer, arthritis, and many types of chronic illnesses.

Negative emotions such as fear, anxiety, negativity, frustration, and depression, cause chemical reactions in your body that are very different from the chemicals released when you feel positive emotions such as happiness, cheerfulness, joy, contentment, love, and acceptance. Obesity can be caused, or indirectly exacerbated, when hidden emotional problems lead to or further worsen binging, an unhealthy eating behaviour. Hence, emotions can directly affect our physical and mental health.

Feelings are internal reactions to your experiences, and expressing them is vital to one’s health and well-being. Our culture does not encourage one to express his or her emotions. Phrases like ‘stop that crying’, and ‘there is no need for that’ are subtle ones, but makes a child to dismiss emotions, and thus, he or she may not learn how to cope with it.

People tend to think that their feelings are caused by external pressures impressed upon them by other people and that they cannot change the way they feel therefore, or have any control over their emotions. Actually, people are directly responsible for generating dysfunctional emotions in them, and its resultant behaviours like stress, depression, anxiety, and social withdrawal. Anyone can be rid of such emotions and their effects, by dismantling the beliefs that give them life.

It is important to learn the skills to identify, accept, and express one’s emotions in an appropriate way, to live a happy and productive life. The intensity of the emotion we feel, reflects the importance of the goal. Understanding one’s emotions results in deeper self-awareness, which is the key to managing emotions. One should also understand what is causing one’s emotion, and its signs, to deal with it more constructively.

Learn to manage emotions before it manages you!

…by Chitra Aravind, Parent of Chettinad Vidyashram, RA Puram, Chennai

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Comments (11)


    Minal says:

    nice yokibu

    Ganesh says:

    good piece of information

    Aparna says:

    good piece of information… We need to realize the fact that we are in control of our emotions and our attitude (read positive) to any situation or circumstances that we face/confront is what makes difference to how we react to any external stimuli.

    Amit says:

    great great great (i mean that this information is useless untill and unless we do it we will justlisten keep it in mind and never do it )

    Pravin M says:

    Very Informative. Thanks

    Charmi Satra says:


    Arunkumar says:

    appropriate expression of our emotion is essential and important to bridge relationship in social life – need to cultivate in KIDS
    good information

    Sarjerao says:


    Chitra says:

    well said

    Srinivas says:

    good piece of information… We need to realize the fact that we are in control of our emotions and our attitude (read positive) to any situation or circumstances that we face/confront is what makes difference to how we react to any external stimuli.

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