I tried these 10 parenting disciplines… Have you? – Part 2
Posted on: February 13, 2018.

Author: Priya S, parent of BVM, Chennai

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6. Let children be independent.

Set limits to help your child develop a sense of self-control. For an enhanced sense of self-direction, encourage your child to be independent. To be successful in life, the child is going to need both.

It is normal for children to push for autonomy. A child’s independence must not be mistaken for rebelliousness or disobedience. Children push for independence because it is part of human nature to want to feel in control rather than to feel controlled by someone else.

7. Consistence in parenting.

Children are not at fault if parents enforce rules that vary from day to day, unpredictably, and that too intermittently. Consistency is our most important disciplinary tool. A parent must identify those behavioural traits / characteristics in his or her child that cannot be negotiated. Children will challenge us less if our authority is based on wisdom rather than power. Many parents have problems being consistent, which consequently leads children to get confused. Parents need to force themselves to be more consistent.

8. Never hurt children. Ever.

Under no circumstance must a parent hit his or her child. Spanking, hitting, and slapping would consequently make children only more prone to fighting with other children. They are more likely to solve disputes with other children by resorting to bullying or aggression. Kids who are a victim of frequent spanking turn aggressive and consequently suffer from relationship problems with other kids. Including a ‘time out’ in the disciplinary regime of a child works better and does not advocate aggression.

9. Explaining rules and decisions.

Good parents look up to children to live up to their expectations. Parents, generally, tend to explain things in excessive detail to children while they explain with only insufficient details to adolescents. What is obvious to an adult/parent may not be evident to a 12-year old, who doesn’t have the priorities, judgment, or experience that adults have.

10. Respect your children.

A parent can expect reciprocation of respect from his or her child only of that parent treats the child respectfully. Parents should give children the same courtesies they would give to anyone else. A parent should speak politely to the child, respect his or her opinions, pay attention when the child is speaking to you, treat him or her kindly, and try to please the child whenever possible. Children treat others the way their parents treat them. The relationship a parent has with his or her child is the foundation for the child’s relationships with others.

Children respond very well to structure. For instance, a parent would need to prepare his or her child before taking the child for shopping. “We’ll be there 45 minutes. Mommy needs to buy this (show them the list)”. Children will get bored, tired, upset by the crowds of people on a shopping trip if they aren’t properly prepared beforehand.

Parents forget to consider the child, and to respect the child. What really matters is that you’re in tune with your child and have a good relationship with the child, so that none of this will be an issue.

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