9 Tips that Fulfil your Parenting Needs! – Part 1
Posted on: September 20, 2019.

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1. Give your child’s self-esteem a boost

Kids, who typically see themselves through their parents’ eyes, start developing their sense of self, even as babies. They absorb their parents’ voice quality, behaviour and mannerism, and their every expression. Nothing can influence their developing self-esteem more than their parents’ speech and deeds.

For kids, self-confidence and self-love can only be developed by being appreciated by their parents for worthy accomplishments, however simple it may be. Furthermore, kids will develop a deep sense of capability and willpower only if they are allowed to independently do their work, without being spoon-fed and overprotected by their parents.

However, being overly appreciated, even for insignificant things, can undermine a child’s self-image and also damage the credibility he/she has for their parents. However, a child’s self-worth will be irreversibly damaged by  belittling comments or comparing a child unfavourably with another.

Making loaded statements, or using words as weapons, cause damage just as physical blows do, like say, for example, “What a stupid thing to do!” or “You act more like a baby than your little brother!” Exercise compassion and care while choosing words to speak to your child. The child should only be let known that certain behaviour is inexcusable—and that everyone makes mistakes and it’s not a “bad” thing—not that you don’t love them.

2. Immediately recognize any good that your child does

In a given day, have we ever stopped to think about how many times we react negatively?

Haven’t we been complimenting less and criticizing more?

How would we feel if our bosses keep making negative comments about our productivity or conduct at the workplace, good intentions apart?

Kids also do things right. Catching kids doing something right is a more effective approach in good parenting. What repeated scolding does not, and cannot, achieve on the long run, are successfully executed by statements that appreciate and encourage good behaviour, like say, for example, “You made your bed without being asked — that’s terrific!” or “I was watching you play with your sister and you were very patient — that’s something great!”

Every day, parents must find something that they can praise their kids for. The best rewards that can work wonders would be parental love, hugs, and compliments. Be generous with your “rewards”. Soon, you will find you are actually nurturing more of the behaviour you would like to see in your children.

3. Discipline consistently, and set limits

Every household necessitates discipline. Teaching children self-control and how to behave in a way that is acceptable is the goal of discipline. Children need to grow into responsible adults, and for that they need to be set limits, although they may test the limits established for their sake. Children will develop self-control and understand your expectation only if house rules are established. Some rules might include: no TV until homework is done, no hitting, name-calling, or hurtful teasing allowed.

Children must be made to understand that warnings like “time out”, being “grounded”, or loss of privileges, would be the consequences of indiscipline. Failing to follow through with the consequences is a common mistake we parents make. Kids cannot be disciplined by scolding them one day and ignoring them on the next. Parental expectations can be met only when teaching is consistent.

4. Role-model with care

Parents’ actions are closely watched by their children who also learn a lot about it. More cues are taken from parents when children are younger. Before you lash out or blow your top in front of your child, think about this: Is that how you want your child to behave when angry? Aggressive parents become a household role model for aggression to children who usually hit others, as studies have shown.

Respect, friendliness, honesty, kindness, tolerance—traits that parents wish to see in their kids—can be modelled within kids only by their parents. Parents’ behaviour must not exhibit selfishness—don’t expect a reward for doing things to other people. Be prompt in expressing your gratitude or offering your compliments. Just as you expect others to treat you the way you wish to be treated, so do kids. Parents can win the adulation of their children only by the way they treat the little ones who neither know what to expect nor how to wish for it.

…continued in the next part

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