Are Children to be ‘Prepared’ or ‘Programmed’?
Posted on: September 30, 2021.

Author: Prabhukrishna M, Content Creator/Chief Editor, Yokibu Editorial

“How am I parenting my child?”—this is the very basic question every parent must ask themselves, at each stage of the child’s developmental process.

Parental self-questioning—particularly on how children are being groomed—often oscillates between several pairs of mutually conflicting, contradicting factors…

…ethics and morals

…truth and honesty

…simplicity and practicality

…fear and concern

…doubts and suspicion

…superstition and occultism

…criticism and irrationalism

…wisdom and knowledge

…encouragement and inspiration

While the above questions are true and relevant in the upbringing of their children, answering each of the above question-components might prove to be difficult.

Believing that the child’s life lies only and entirely in the future, most parents utilize the present solely to plan for their future—with total commitment, but misinformed and unwittingly.

Consequently, the parental notion that the ‘present’ is only a preparing ground to build a child’s future, result in that child having to suffer a cascade of various psychological events and elements.

It is the endeavor of most parents—irrespective of socio-economic class—to set a goal for their children and push and prepare them to become a highly-paid professional…

…doctor, engineer, scientist, chartered accountant, lawyer, business owner, bank employee, and—ultimately—”suitably married” and “well-settled”, thereby fulfilling their parental responsibilities.

Pathetically, the goal itself may not be permanent. Such “goals” languish—along with the child—from constant change under the influence of…

…relatives, colleagues, acquaintances, friends, neighbors, and other such “career counselors”. The exercise of preparing the child for the “new goal” starts, every time the goal is thereby changed.

Being programmed to work for the future—told to focus on the future … to “become someone” in the future—is what children get to face—at the expense of the ‘present’—right from birth.

The only outcome that will happen is that children not only lose the present but the future as well, in the certain eventuality of their failing to appreciate and live up to the present…

…knowing that the present is only to be prepared for the future. The ‘bitter’ truth, however, is that at least something in this world can happen only in the present, and nothing ever lies in the future.

Achievement or disappointment, success or failure, becoming a doctor or an engineer, planned or accidental … this is the fundamental truth every parent should remember.

Swami Sukhabodhananda always used to say that the ‘past’ could appear in all our life only as ‘present’, and obviously the ‘present’ also as ‘present’, and so too the ‘future’.

What would exist when the child reaches the future is not the ‘planned future’ but only his/her ‘present’, and if that ‘present’ is an undesired one, then it cannot be called the ‘future’ but only a ‘resentful past’.

Simply put, how would a child truly enjoy what he/she has become if that child has been ‘programmed’ to turn so, and not ‘prepared’ for it?

Once children start galloping towards their ‘planned futures’—that of a “doctor” or an “engineer”—their ‘programmed’—and not ‘prepared’—mindsets will only tell them to become something else in future…

…and their lives would become like that of Alice who disappears into a rabbit role and reappears—lost, completely disoriented, and potentially exposed to dangers unknown—in “Wonderland”.

Conclusively, the intention of this article—while definitely not against parents aspiring their children to achieve something—is only to inform parents to encourage and inspire their children…

…with complete knowledge of not only their parental actions/efforts but also of its consequences on the wellbeing of their children—to achieve what they love to become…

…while letting the present be their ‘present (gift)’, and not snatch it away from them—and of ‘preparing’ them and not ‘programming’ them!

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