Parental Stress in Modern Times!
Posted on: September 8, 2021.

Author: Prabhukrishna M, Content Creator/Chief Editor, Yokibu Editorial

Frustrations, hassles, demands, deadlines … the phenomenon called “stress” is generally referred to by using such words that modern times are filled with—on almost all days.

An inevitable part of life is occupied by stress. Homes have gone from ‘havens of peace’ to ’systems of stress’, with both the men and women going out to work, and nuclear families outnumbering joint families.

Stress, to a certain extent, is good, it is said—the “fright-fight-or-flight” response helps one rise up to face the challenges of life—motivating better performance to give the best … stress is a boon.

But having to be on ‘emergency mode’ on more occasions than less—making one’s mind and body pay the price—is what today’s scenario augurs, causing serious havoc to productivity, family, and relationships.

On how people respond to overwhelming stress in their lives, Psychologist Connie Lillas describes it as being in three ways, uses a driving analogy—

The person responds in an angry, agitated way. He/she is heated, keyed up, overly emotional, or unable to remain/sit still—Foot on the gas.

The person responds in a withdrawn or depressed way. He/she shuts down, spaces out, and shows very little energy or emotion—Foot on the brake.

The person responds in a tight or frozen way. He/she ‘freezes’ under pressure, appears paralyzed but deeply agitated under the surface—Foot on both.

On certain occasions, things begin to happen around a person, who responds by feeling overwhelmed by it—this is when stress becomes a problem.

At such times, one is unsure of how to handle oneself in a critical situation—there seems to be too much to deal with, simultaneously.

Workplace stress—the perils of conducting a career—itself is second only to the stress of parenting which far exceeds the levels of stress found in the business world.

However, by teaching oneself positive ways to handle stress, a person can actually improve self-efficiency—now, isn’t that good news?

A child’s confidence can be damaged by ’stress mismanagement’. Parents not being able to deal with their children do not have enough time, patience, or energy—while becoming overly stressed.

While getting the child ready for school, parents end up doing most of the child’s jobs, grumbling about not being able to give enough time to the process.

Stressed, distressed, and disgruntled parents look only at all the mess the child has made, ‘dirtying’ the place, instead, and cannot appreciate a creative piece of work the child has accomplished.

While children return home late, stressed parents have not enough time to listen to what explanation they have to give us—acceptable though it may be—and scold/yell at them, jumping to conclusions.

There is definitely a difference in the amount of stress one can accommodate which—proportionately—translates to how a person reacts to and expresses stress in different ways.

One parent might find her toddler’s tantrums unmanageable while another parent still manages to maintain a saintly composure.

While a cup of coffee/tea or a hot shower helps one easily overcome her stress, another might need soothing music to her ears with an hour’s seclusion in her room.

Imbalances in physical health, emotional states, mental functioning, or behavior/response to a person’s situations, can lead to negative stress reactions in a person.

A person’s ‘tell-tale’ signs of stress can be easily caught ‘red-handed’, which could indicate our stress patterns. When a person does not realize being under strain, these signs insidiously, gradually creep in.

Overly stressed people land up becoming more stressed over a given/recurring situation is because of being unable to say ‘NO’ to the mounting pressures around them, thereby falling into the trap—this is to beware of.

“The time to relax is when you don’t have any time for it.” — Sydney Harris.

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