5. Lay ground rules – It is very important to chalk out a behavioral contract and communicate it to the child dearly so that the child is able to see a goal/a set of goals, know the rewards for achieving the goal/s and also understand the consequences if rules are not followed. Set up clear rules, goals and expectations.
It is very imperative that we are sure that the child is made to be aware of the consequences which will arise if rules are broken. Learning the consequences of unwanted behavior is very essential to help the child check his behavior even if he she is tempted to break rules or fails to control his/her negative actions.
It is suggested that the most appropriate reward/s could be the caregiver’s ultimate success in handling misbehavior in children. A special treat or a well sought reward can really help the child a long way in fulfilling the goal set by the caregiver – parent, teacher or parent figure.
6. Allow for generous buffer zone – Generally when children are found to behave abnormally, it is only something due to a child’s innate disability to be unable to control himself/herself. No child will adopt a misbehavior by conscious motives/plans. Extremes of bad behavior is usually due to unconscious drives or motives. The conflicts that arise are not discernable.
Hence we have to understand this feature in our child’s behavior and modify our behavior to adapt ourselves to the child’s inability to act ‘rightly’ under a given circumstance. It is best to encourage time outs or breaks while we try to implement any rules laid for dealing with difficult situations. We have to understand that the child is really having problems in handling his/her behavior in an appropriate manner. Give a fairly reasonable time out if you feel your child is having difficulty dealing with a situation.
Pushing or goading a child to do more / perform better within a short span of time will only worsen the intensity of the problem behavior. Similarly getting into a brawl or a screaming match is going to do no better in alleviating the situation.
Remember:
Each child is unique in his/her own ways. A caregiver is the best person to gauge and decide what could work best for the child or what could worsen the situation while handling a child with defiant behavior.
A child with Oppositional Defiant Behavior could well be very difficult at times but we, as caregivers, must exercise almost patience and understanding while handling such children.
Most importantly, as caregiver, you need to take care of yourself seek the right support group, pool the right kind of resources such as to make your job easier and feel less stressed.
Comments (6)
Leave a Comment
Disclaimer: The information contained within this website is provided for informational purposes only and is not intended to substitute for obtaining advice from professional experts. The ideas and views expressed here are all from the authors of the content and not from Yokibu. Please seek assistance from professional experts for your specific needs.
Excellent article. Really helpful insights.
Excellent article. Patience, a positive attitude, leeway and a policy of Give & Take should be adopted. Not as easy to implement, what with the parents coping with one’s own work and other ghosts, but its worth trying. Reining in our temper and other outbursts is very very difficult even for adults, but an honest attempt has to be made. Our own showing of respect to older members of the family and friends helps a lot.
Nilakantan
good;my daughter is 4yrs.old & v.fussy abt food,otherwise she is fine by God’s grace,but she simply dosen’t like to eat food,hence her energy isn’t replenished fully,we r worried,any solutions, v did consult a child specialist but no results.
Many children get fuzzy when it comes to eating food. Things to try are having set times for eating and also having food along with family members when the child is at home. Due to work pressure sometimes this may not be possible all the time. Try to have set time for meal times, and try not giving snacks before meal time. As caring parents we do give in to childs demand sometimes.
Praise when the child eats well. Avoid giving too much milk (2 cups of milk a days should suffice). Don’t force feed or give negative feedback if the child is throwing tantrums when it comes to eating food. Make sure child doesnot have iron deficiency. Try engaging the child in cooking. Positive reinforcement is the way to go and set time for having food, try having food around table as family.
Dear MAdam,
Its a very relevant article.
Sometimes even when children occasionally throw up these kind of behaviours at the most critical of times it really is a tester of mother’s limits of patience. And loosing control just NEVER works and being stern without raising voice almost always works, atleast with my 7-yr-old daughter.
This artical is very good. i think it will help me a lot. thanks